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Team:
Chris ‘The Cat’ Murray (GK) Subs:
Big H (RB) Neil Crossley
Gazza (LB) Nev
Neil Sav (CB) Mark Tobin
The Silver Fox (CB) Connor
Lil H (RM) Johnny Raf
Danny Baldwin (LM)
Carl (CM)
Gaz (CM)
Ant (AMC)
Graeme (ST)
The game against the Darlington Fans’ kicked off with Bury facing into the glaring sunlight.
Almost instantly, a long ball by Carl sent Graeme chasing through the middle. A good save from the keeper on the edge of his area only resulted in the ball being parried into the penalty area, Graeme successfully outpaced the defenders to hammer into the centre of an unguarded goal and give Bury a 1-0 lead.
Make sure you all have some smelling salts for the next bit: a throw in down the right remarkably fell to Big H, playing at Right Back, to have a shot on goal. I know, I know, yes you did read correctly! Needless to say Graeme’s position up front is safe as the ball was saved at the post and knocked out for a corner. Ant fired well over from the resulting corner.
A superb run and cross from Graeme found Bob running it at the back post, he headed it across goal for Kev to score a simple tap in. Not a blinding 25 yard strike but the wee mans positioning earnt him the goal.
The next goal went in whilst I was still writing my notes from the previous one, but the basic gist was another good run from Graeme, who was playing out of his skin in the 1st half, resulted in an own goal from one of the Quakers’ defenders.
By now Forever Bury FC were playing some electric football and were really playing well as a team. A good 1-2 between Bob and Carl, Bob squared it across to Ant only for the big attacking midfielder to fire narrowly wide.
It was at this point that everyone in the away players’ hut got a shock when Wozza erupted into a fit of orgasmic ecstasy after receiving an actual text message. From his Mum.
Fortunately, we’d all recovered in plenty of time to see a game of pinball wind up at the feet of Kev, who was again in a superb position in the box and once again fire home to claim his second and Bury’s 4th of the game.
Carl almost made it 5-0 to the Shakers supporters with a 20 yard knee drive after closing down the defender, who’s attempted clearance ricocheted off the knee of the Bury captain.
Ant wins the ball in the Quakers half and fed an excellent through ball to Graeme. In a one on one situation with the Darlo keeper, a good effort from the Bury striker forced the home fans keeper into the save of the game who put the ball out for yet another Bury corner.
Gaz, who was doing a good job protecting the Bury defence, had his first effort of the game when his 30 yard shot went sailing well over the Darlington crossbar.
A good chip from Carl led to a clearance from Darlington which only went as far as Gaz who took it on the chest and played a good cross into Graeme who was only inches away from making contact.
Another good run and cross from Man of the Half Graeme was met by a stretching Ant who’s run in front of the defence earned him his first goal of the game and Bury were now comfortably strolling at 5-0.
Half time came, Bury were 5 goals to the good, had a clean sheet to boot. 3 balls had been lost into the adjoining housing estate and Murray had to be woken up.
The second half began, a half which was to provide less drama than the 1st half as Bury took their feet off the pedal, but which contained a plethora of substitutions.
Big H made way for Mark Tobin who was a straight swap at right back, and Gaz was replaced by Nev. This meant a change in formation for Bury as Ant dropped back into midfield with Nev partnering Graeme and reverting back to 4-4-2.
More solid play from midfield general Carl and the ball found it’s way to the feet of Nev who swung wildly and the ball sliced wide for a goal kick.
More substitutions followed, Gazza came off for Johnny Raff – John went in at Right back and Mark T switched sides and resumed play at left back. Bob came off and was replaced by young hopeful Connor, who was making his first appearance for the A team since breaking his toe nail in the game away against Nottingham Forest.
Darlington’s 1st move of any real note was inches away from them grabbing a goal, only Mark T, excellently positioned on the post was able to get his head to the ball and clear off the goal line.
Yet another Darlington attack after a long low through ball came to an abrupt end when Bury goalkeeper Chris Murray raced out of his area and handled the ball very obviously well out of his area. What would have been a red card in any professional game brought no action from the referee other than a Darlington free kick which was comfortably dealt with by the Bury defence.
Stu then calls Graeme a fairy after stating we should play the Christmas Tree formation ‘with Graeme as the fairy’. The kind of statement you can only safely make from the sanction of the hut eh Stu!
Not wanting to have the attention taken away from him, Wozza then tripped backwards over the water bottles, yet despite an injury that was keeping from playing, showed expert balance to stay on his feet.
With the game now just being played out by both teams, what it really needed was a goal. From Bury, preferably.
And that’s just what we got.
The ball bounced loose to Nev just outside the area, and he curled a well placed shot into the bottom of the Darlington net, just out of reach of the keepers’ despairing dive.
6-0 to Bury and the game was as good as over.
There was still time for the quote of the game from Craig with a shout of ‘Why don’t we pass it wide and shit?’
More substitutions before the final whistle, Graeme was replaced by Ant who was re-introduced to play, Nev came back off for Gaz.
The full time whistle followed, a comfortable 6-0 win to Bury.
A game of shocks:
Big H shoots, Murray keeps a clean sheet and 5 balls were lost.
Graeme got sore nipples.
The Bury goalscorers were:
Graeme (2)
Lil H (2)
Ant
Nev
Man of the Match was Lil H, closely followed by Graeme. Both players ran their hearts out all game and the decision could have gone either way but it was the nippy little winger who came out on top in the voting.
I’d like to say thanks to Stu and Mark T who also assisted in doing the match reports!!
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